This review will be as spoiler free as I can make it, I really urge you to play this game and I don't want to start giving out spoilers that may ruin the experience.
Over the past week, I've been obsessively playing No More Heroes 1 and 2. I finally finished 1 after a long period of not playing and then played 2 for hours every day until I beat it. These are two of the best games I have ever played and, despite not being the usual kind of game I've reviewed so far, I think deserve reviews. Plus, I feel bad for not posting for a while. Please note I am reviewing the Switch version, although I do own the Wii version and may play it when I feel the need to replay this game.
No More Heroes is a violent, bloody and sex joke filled action hack-and-slash that is absolutely the perfect way to let out any possible anger you may have. Travis Touchdown goes on a quest to kill all the assassins ranked higher than him to earn some... alone time with Sylvia Christel - Travis' assassination mission organiser in the UAA. But the story isn't just that simple. Travis isn't some sort of character that should be relatable, he's a stupid jerk who thinks he's cool, but you get to watch as he progresses through each boss, learning their stories and in the end, sometimes reluctantly, killing them. This is more than just a story held up by sex and violence, instead using them as tools to show who Travis is as a person. The game itself does get slightly too fanservice horny sometimes though, sadly. I don't want to spoil the game, but there are some amazing moments and the ending is wonderfully mysterious and confusing. This game is perfect at establishing its tone, and can get surprisingly dark and serious. Each character has absolutely amazing designs and are all really unique and compelling.
In regards to gameplay, you play as Travis and use his beam katana to do high or low swipes at enemies, and can also use punches and kicks, although in this game they are effectively pointless and I only ever used them to trigger Travis' special wrestling moves, which you unlock throughout the game as finishing attacks you can trigger when an enemy is stunned. Battles are extremely fun, with constant dodging and guarding to avoid other attacks and violent slashing combos that make you feel SO powerful, all the while keeping an eye on your battery gauge. Once your battery runs out, you can't use your sword, meaning no attacking and guarding, so you have to run to a safe corner and recharge. Recharging is done by rocking the control stick back and forth, or shaking the Wiimote up and down in the original version, and in game Travis will, no joke, JACK OFF HIS BEAM KATANA. It's honestly a pretty funny concept and reflects Travis' character very well. The beam katana as a penis metaphor is used in other places in the game too, like as a way to show that Travis is turned on in some cutscenes (I think, at least, as I do remember this concept being used in the first game but my only example comes from the start of 2). There's usually a stage and a boss, although sometimes the stage might be very short or just a small but fun gimmick section. As the game progresses, the stages become shorter and the focus mainly goes into the bosses, which I think is a good choice and helps keep the pacing up. The shorter stages, however, are kind of "made up for" by the increase in money needed to start each mission. To start a ranking fight, Travis must collect a certain amount of LB$ and deposit it. However, the ranking fights don't give you enough money to start the next, so you must complete side jobs and small assassination missions around Santa Destroy to make that money. These missions aren't that long and can be kinda fun, although a large amount of the side jobs are pretty tedious and boring. Considering that sword upgrades also require money (and are literally mandatory for the game's true ending, kinda spoilers but something you should know if you want to beat this game), you'll have to complete a good few of these missions. Annoyingly, to get to these missions you not only have to go to the mission assignment buildings but also travel to the mission location itself, which is pointless and annoying, taking up way too much time due to Santa Destroy's lack of fast travel and fairly large size. There's also not much to really warrant this open travel system anyway, with no real reason for it to exist over a menu other than novelty and collecting the Lovikov balls hidden around and finding some bonus shirts in dumpsters. I wish there was more point to Santa Destroy, because it is very cool to be able to travel around it, but in the end it just turns out to be a tedious break from gameplay.
The game has a wonderful graphical style, looking gritty (but not in a bad way) with its dark and exaggerated shading, but not aiming to be super realistic or something, which works well in its favour and for the theming.
The music of this game is absolutely amazing... most of the time. It's got some phenomenal music in it, but some earlier tracks in the game and some of the more basic ones like the shop, motel and bike themes aren't nearly as good, sadly. This game uses the same motif throughout all of the pre-boss level music, which, while in other cases could end up annoying, works PERFECTLY due to how stunningly good the main motif is. This soundtrack was composed by Masafumi Takada, which can be very easily noticed in most tracks if you know his work in games like Danganronpa or the Digimon Cyber Sleuth games. The music in this game knows how to perfectly set the mood for each level and boss and I'd really recommend listening to some of it. My personal favourites are Pleather for Breakfast, Stop Hanging DJs, We Are Finally Cowboys and Cashmere Cannonball.
I don't have much to say about the box art for the Wii version I have (EU ver, the one with the 16+ on the box). It's pretty nice and shows the two most major characters of the game and the location the game is set in but it's just fairly basic as far as box art goes. The American Wii version is a bit better in the way that it has Travis in a cool pose on the art and with that black splatter but it's too basic in background for my liking. The Switch version of that art, however, is much better and is probably my favourite of these box arts. Showcasing some other assassins - but not too many - and all in the background as red silhouettes with a shattering effect to reflect the killing and to add some colour to the background. Very good box art. The other normal Switch art is okayyy. I get what they were going for but it's just kinda boring, plus shows off too many of the assassins which ruins a bit of the surprise that the games build up around their designs and makes them look too prominent, as if they would all be part of a group of main characters, rather than bosses. The big Switch box art with the Santa Destroy flag is awful, honestly. I really don't like it. I get that it's fun they're using the flag but the silhouette art is just weird, the flag colours don't look that nice as box art and it overall doesn't work. The PS3 versions, which are fairly different to the version I played, are kinda weird in box art. The art looks pretty good but doesn't fit the game at all. Heroes' Paradise is covered in WOMEN to show the horny PS3 owners that omg.... hot woman in this game. It looks very nice otherwise, although I wish the background had a bit more going on and that Travis didn't look so weird and wrong, but that might just be how he looks in the PS3 version. The Red Zone cover is very nice looking but is advertising a completely different game. It looks like some graceful game where you play as Sylvia, the box art doesn't even have Travis on at all! Plus the art style is way too anime-like for NMH. They're really trying to market this version to the Travises of the world, aren't they?
Game: 9/10
Music: 9/10
Box (EU/JP): 6/10
Box (US): 7/10
Box (Red Shatter): 9/10
Box (Character Lineup): 6/10
Box (Santa Destroy Flag): 2/10
Box (Heroes' Paradise): 7/10
Box (Red Zone): 4/10 (if this was for a Sylvia led game in an anime art style though, 9/10)